This is not me. Nor will it ever be. It’s a stock photo from Pixabay.

Six-Pack Surgery: Seriously?

Seeking the “ideal body,” researchers come up with a new procedure. Here’s what’s wrong with it.

My father recently underwent surgery to remove a grapefruit-sized tumor that was going to kill him. The surgery was successful, but complications with the recovery nearly did kill him.

With some nifty post-post-op-op work (an unofficial term for “you’re back in for a second surgery because the risks associated with the first one were realized” and a bunch of foam gauze inserted into the re-opened incision and a clever but expensive vacuum pump affixed to his abdomen, he ultimately recovered after a few touch-and-go weeks. Watching him go through it all has me more convinced than ever not to undergo any surgery that isn’t necessary. Specifically, I’m not getting a boob job or a butt lift anytime soon.

Now you know my bias going into this story. So here’s the delayed news lede:

A new surgical procedure called abdominal etching, with the catchy nickname of six-pack surgery, offers, well, you probably guessed it by now.

“The ideal body is characterized by a muscular physique and defined anterior abdominal wall.” So boldly claims a new paper by Tarik Husain of the University of Miami and colleagues, in a journal published by the American…