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On Second Thought, Love at First Sight Not So Common
Most romantic partners start out as just friends, new research suggests
When I first saw her walk in late to the conference’s opening-night mixer, my brain went all fuzzy, I struggled to breathe properly, and I couldn’t concentrate on conversations with the dozens of other people I was being introduced to in the hotel lobby. A few minutes later, perchance, we stood back-to-back, inches apart. The rush of electricity was deafening. The hair on my arms rose. I later learned the current ran in both directions. Now, 24 years later, my wife and I have no doubt that love at first sight is a real thing.
But it doesn’t seem to work that way for most people, new research suggests.
Most studies on how relationships begin focus on those that are ignited by a romantic spark, a review of existing research reveals. Curious if that represented the full spectrum of what should be studied, the researchers analyzed data on 1,897 people from the United States and Canada who had been asked in seven unrelated research projects about how their romantic relationships had begun.
Two-thirds of these people — 68% — said things started out platonically.
“We might have a good understanding of how strangers become attracted to each…
